Bye Bye

"Bye Bye" -N'Sync

To the 3 people that read this, I have moved over to tumblr. Everything is easier there and yeah, I moved. www.pigadoken.tumblr.com Expect the same amount of mashy shit. =]

Reading Rainbowwwwww

After drinking numerous shots of Ballantine scotch, me and my roomie Franklin shared some memories during my brother's wedding. After the wedding was said and done and everybody got their drunk asses home or went to the kyoto hotel room, we decided to take a trip to the golden shit ass arches known as McDonalds to get some 2am grub. Needless to say, the food was garbage but it filled us up since nothing else was open at the time. Here is where the story begins...

Since I was the only one that was particularly sober at the time, I drive up to the drive thru and proceed to place my order. Before I even begin to order, some black bum comes up to me and asks for $.50. First off, I respect the hustle but there is NO FUCKING REASON why I should give you shit especially since it's 2 FUCKIN AM IN THE MORNING! WHO THE FUCK IS AWAKE AT THIS TIME AND NEEDS $.50? That is the million dollar question imo. Anyway, I just tell him I don't have shit to spare even though I had hella cash in my pocket to pay for the food. We order our grimy shit and go to the window to pay/get out food. This nigga doesn't stop...

I get all my food and pay the McDonalds lady. This same bum ass nigga comes up to us again and asks..."Hey man, I really need some change. Can you spare $.75 to me please?" I look at dude hard. I mean, it's so fuckin hard you could see fucking steel flying out of my eyes. I tell dude "Hey man, you fucking asked me for $.50 a few seconds ago. Why the fuck do you think I am gonna give you $.75 now? You are an idiot. I have change in my pocket and I ain't gonna give you shit!" I roll up my window and leave. I look in the rearview mirror and dude goes to the next car with his awesome "hustle".

The moral of the story is that bums in L.A. don't deserve shit especially at 2am. I mean...if you made up a decent lie like "I need some change to make the bus tomorrow to see my kidz..." I would have forked up the change. But if a bum ass nigga comes up and wants change to cook up some coke, NOPE!

PS: Ever since my smofty bought me HoldEmManager, my ROI has been better and I can finally fold when I know I should fold. It's like an angel that warns me of impending danger!

"Hanging in the club like this all night. Put your ass, you know I hold it tight!" -ODB

OOF

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGIE!" - Jamiroquailjalksjdfkajskdljfasdf

Maria bought me Hold 'Em Manager for my bday. <3 Maria. I didn't really read anything on it. I just installed and did an auto-import of my hands from the pokerstars hand history. My HUD hasn't shown up so I read through some forums and I guess I need to download the new update. Poker has been fairly decent. I have a number in my head to clear so I can withdraw some $$$$$. I am probably going to need to head to rivershit to run some shit with Billiam. Birthday celebration was awesome and I can't wait for another crazy event...probably when my brother/sister get back from Grenada. Until then...

"Sip, Sip, Sip, Sippin on some sip, sippin on some sizzzzurp!" - 3 6 Mafia

I've been doing insanity pretty consistent but haven't been seeing dramatic results. It must be from drinking a lot lately and being tired while doing the workouts. I am still going to stick to it!

FINALLY!

Feeling solid as hell. Things have been going well lately with everything. I have been consistent with Insanity but I have not been eating 100% healthy. I can't really complain since this is the longest I have been consistent with anything.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Diamonds and Cadillacs!" -Jackie Chain

Man, I am craving this shit sooooooo fucking hard right now. It ain't even funny. It take discipline to fight this off when I am drunk as a motherfucker. Anyway, I must say that the past couple days of poker have been on cloud 9. It feels like I am Neo and all these monkeys can't push me around at all. I KNOW when they are shoving with trash and calls asap with A2 and see, to no surprise, J4 shove on the button. I am enjoying poker very much because I AM IN THE ZONE! That Phoenix Suns game was mad entertaining.

Monkeys will be monkeys

"How you like me now? Gold teef when I smile!" -Master P

Lately, on pokerstars, I have random leechers/cheerleaders following me all the way to the final table of the 180 SNGs. They will cheer me on then talk shit when somebody wins a flip on me. For example, blinds are 2/4k and I have 32k. Villian has been minraising every pot. Villian MR utg and it's folded to me in the small blind. I shove with A9 [the equity I have is pretty slim at this point because he has a 120k stack] but i am confident that I have the best hand preflop. Villian calls and tables QJ. Flop dinks a Jack and I get 4th. The same railbird that was cheering me on laughs and says I'm a fish for putting it in with the best hand. I am very, very happy that I no longer look at the chat unless I put a super horrendous beat on somebody. I just remind myself that the people that actually rail have absolutely no money [or have gone busto numerous times] and try to get anybody in the world to ship them some money. I feel sad for those idiots. I finally have a knack for doing the right plays and not giving a shit what the outcome is. Whenever I find myself getting flustered from the iditos that pull miracles out of their ass, I just take a deep breath and remind myself that these donks are -EV in everything they enter.

Magic

"Verse Number 2, do the damn thang!" -Yung Joc

Pokerstars has finalllllllly graced me with some love. I've been winning the flips when I need to as well as having A3 hold against monkey J5 and other random combination of hands. All the hard work and long ass hours have finally led to grinding back my bankroll. I won't be satisfied until i can withdraw a certain amount and pay Bill back a certain amount. =]

I just did 7 days of the Insanity workout. I can't wait for day 30 where I get to compare how the fuck I looked on day 1! Weeeeeee.

"Boards don't hit back." -Bruce Lee

CHOMP CHOMP

"MAKE EM SAY UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" -Master P

I like looking at this crazy sugar mania to torture myself.

Inspiration

"If it weren't for luck, I'd win every poker tournament." -Phil Hellmuth

Recently, I have been pretty angry. Angry to the point where I catch myself and have to slow things down until I see things in a better perspective. After watching the two movies on www.robustothemovie.com, I realize that I am not alone. The only other person I regularly talk to that plays online poker is Bill. Just being able to hear the testimonials from other players was a big relief. It's always easy to say that you need to disassociate yourself from the swings as well as beat after beat you take. When it keeps happening and there seems to be no end to it, that's where the resilient shine. It feels as if the past few days has taken away my resilient self. Instead of being optimistic, I feel an enormous amount of pressure to win everything I touch. I won't lie, I have done some strange lines of play where I know it was completely wrong. It's an awful feeling but I feel I can get away from it. I know what to do and try to apply it but I have been cracking more often than not. I realize what my leaks are and how to fix them...this is basically the test, albeit the 'final' test, I have to pass.

Online poker is a really lonely profession. You basically click a mouse and hope to reap profits daily, weekly, monthly, and/or yearly. For me, I try not to talk to any of the people I play in the SNGs. It reduces the amount of tilt that builds up as well as avoids me getting the temptation to degrade a player. The only thing I miss from a regular job is the daily interaction of people. I don't think I'm going to go crazy or turn into a hermit but I realize this profession is 100% seclusion from the outside world. That's why I am happy to have a really good support group that includes my wonderful gf Maria, my family, and my friends. Even if the people that are close to me don't agree with what I'm doing, I respect the fact that they don't give me shit every waking moment because I'm taking a huge risk overall. To this day, I hate losing. I ffffffffuckin hate it. I don't want to lose...it comes from me being super, super stubborn. I feel writing this blog will bring out all the hatred, anger, pessimism, and downright negative energy I have been spewing lately. I still feel that I live a very awesome life even though I see myself in greatness at all times.

I end this blog with one of the few positive things my father has said to me throughout my childhood. "Put your heart and your mind into everything you do. You will be successful if you can do this." Well, I definitely feel those words apply to my lifestyle now. I just hope I don't become what I loathe the most: a loser!

"Sippin saki on a Suzuki, we in Osaka Bay!" - Cam'ron

Frustration

This is how I feel

Hahahahahaha

Insecurity can be a pain I guess...

Got caught...

trying to get all the gold!

Weeeeee

Poker is fun. It's one of the few games where it can piss me off so much but bring so much joy after a win. I will prevail. This monkey is awesome.

LOLOLOLOL

Can someone please get me the contact info for Jim Jones stylist?

NUT NUT BABY

I feel like a zoo keeper after my PS session

Insomnia Again COT DAMN!

Stolen from Bill stolen from Chang Chang Bang Bang Im

30 day song challenge
Day 01 - Your favorite song - Beachball/Party All The Time. These two songs bring back a lot of good memories. They both revolve around the time where I loved marvel/cvs2 to the point where I would travel to play against ze best players. My sister can relate how much I love Party All The Time from the amount of showers I've taken while listening to it on BLAST.

Day 02 - Your least favorite song - Let's see. This is definitely something I have to think about...It would probably be Chamillionaire - Ridin' Dirty. The song was just stupid annoying. Like all annoying songs, you hear it so much that you can actually tolerate it.

Day 03 - A song that makes you happy - Cam'Ron - Down and Out. This song has too many funny lines that I have to sing along hard bady. It's one of my favorite songs by Cam that started my Dipset love.

Day 04 - A song that makes you sad - I have no idea. I remember all those slow songs that played during the death of someone important from a Disney movie. What was that lion's name...Simba's dad? Those types of songs make me sad.

Day 05 - A song that reminds you of someone - Ginuwine - Differences. This song has multiple layers to it. It mainly reminds me of Maria from high school. Hahahaha. Back then, I was a super donk and decided not to dance to this song with her. Typical.

Day 06 - A song that reminds of you of somewhere - Utada...I can't remember her last name. Easy Breezy. That song reminds me of Japan.

Day 07 - A song that reminds you of a certain event - The stage song for Elena in SF3:3S. That song would remind me of the first time I got a voicemail about how annoying it is to listen to for ~30 seconds.

Day 08 - A song that you know all the words to - I can confidently say I know lyrics for most of my favorite songs...like 90% sure of the lyrics. But, for ALL the words, I would have to say this particular Winnie The Pooh sing-along-song from WAYYY BACK. It was about how he stretches and eats honey all day.

Day 09 - A song that you can dance to - Remixed 80s shit. This answer is mad general but that's all I can think of. Whatever music Club Jet blasts when I'm in Vegas.

Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep - Classical music. Beethoven's Fur Elise can take my mind somewhere else...which makes me sleepy.

Day 11 - A song from your favorite band - AFI - Miss Murder. When I first heard this song, I was watching an interview with Davey Havok all glittered up and giddy about the new album. Random memory. There's something about the song that I like. I really don't know what it is but I can listen to this song on loop tbh.

Day 12 - A song from a band you hate - I used to hate songs by P.O.D. because I thought they were frontin hard on their image [this was WAYYYYY before you could just pop in something on wiki.org]. They're hard....for a CHRISTIAN BAND. All for the J-MAN.

Day 13 - A song that is a guilty pleasure - Aqua - Barbie Girl. LOLOLOLOLOL. This song is 100% mash fiesta. I can honestly say I would sing this song while clubbin it up with Euro donks.

Day 14 - A song that no one would expect you to love - 80s song...Always Something There to Remind Me.

Day 15 - A song that describes you - it would be a mash up of three songs. Lil Wayne - Money on My Mind, T.I. - What You Know About That, Michelle Branch - Everywhere. These songs are fire.

Day 16 - A song that you used to love but now hate - hahahahahahah. E Z. It's that one raver song...I CAN'T STOP RAVING. I only liked this song because all my AzN friends would blast it in high school. I didn't know about X or all that raving shit. I can't stand it now.

Day 17 - A song that you hear often on the radio - Akon - "something something something DISRESPECTFULLLLLLLLLLL. SHE AIN'T YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD HOOOOOOOOO!"

Day 18 - A song that you wish you heard on the radio - This old song by NOTORIOUS B.I.G. + Lil Kim - Another. This was one of the first few songs where I paid attention to the lyrics. Song is awesome. "What would you do if your bitch was untrue? Would you cut the hooker off or find someone new? I need another bitchhhhhhh!" Classic degrading music ftw.

Day 19 - A song from your favorite album - Clipse - Grindin. The beat was fire when it came out. Lyrics were pretty crisp. It's just a classic from Clipse.

Day 20 - A song that you listen to when you’re angry - I have no idea. I haven't been piss angry for a while. I get angry at poker but I'm usually listening to happy music so...no idea.

Day 21 - A song that you listen to when you’re happy - Juelz Santana - There It Go [The Whistle Song] Just hearing "SANTANA, AY! IT'S DIPSET BITCH!" makes me happy.

Day 22 - A song that you listen to when you’re sad - I haven't been sad in a while either. I have no idea...

Day 23 - A song that you want to play at your wedding - Ginuwine - Differences. It will basically be the official dance for Maria and I. Maybe she'll stop making fun of me for not dancing with her the first time...who knows? I would also need a good MJ song...Don't Stop Till You Get Enough/Rock With You

Day 24 - A song that you want to play at your funeral - Snoop Dogg - Ain't Nothin' But A G Thang. That would kill the sadness asap imo. Clipse - Grindin' instrumental. It's a weird thought imo. I would probably just request happy music since that's the type of music I like. No particular song stands out more than another atm. Tupac - Picture Me Rollin stands out...

Day 25 - A song that makes you laugh - Young Money - Bedrock. The amount of terrible punchlines and Lloyd on the hook just make me laugh. Call me Mr. Flinstone, grocery bag, abestos....lyrics are RIDIC. Oh shit, this is mad throwback. Tom Green - Bum Bum Song. That song would kill me so hard. MY BUM IS ON THE CHEESE! hahahahaha fuck. Birdman - #1 Stunna. I love it when he says "I'M GONNA BUY ME A PLATINUM FOOTBALL FIELD". If there's a will, there's a way Birdman.

Day 26 - A song that you can play on an instrument - Beethoven - Fur Elise. I can mash it out on a piano...at least a little bit of it. I think I can do some songs on a flute...no homo.

Day 27 - A song that you wish you could play - I'd rather learn how to make beats. Incubus - Anna Molly. I would like to learn how to play that song.

Day 28 - A song that makes you feel guilty - Akon - Locked Up. It makes me feel guilty because it's such a terrible song to love. "COPS WERE DRESSED AS FIENDSSSSSSS" "MAKIN SO MUCH MONEY" "FUCK AROUND AND GET LOCKED UPPPPPPP"

Day 29 - A song from your childhood - Venga Bus. Tom's Diner. All the opening songs for TV shows. Boyz II Men. Bone Thugs N Harmony. I don't have a song that strikes out during childhood. I played a lot of megaman, sf, random games. I remember more of the songs before school started like TMNT or Ronin Warriors.

Day 30 - Your favorite song at this time last year - T.I. Swagga Like Us. I think this song came out a year ago. If not, Young Dro - Shoulder Lean.

These songs are pretty awesome too
Eazy E - Real MUTHAFUCKIN Gs
Master P - Make Em Say UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
Mystikal - Shake Ya Ass

Sick Swing Brahhhhhh!

The past two days have been mega LOL on PS. I blame it on variance and monkeys. Here's to hoping my shit holds instead of death by Ace rag x 10000000. =]

LET'S GO

I want to see somebody eat this. Upswing FTW!

Motivation

SCOOPS. I'm going to buy this Ron Artest jersey if I get back to greatness by end of April.

Anti-Tilt

B O S S

Problems

"Beamer, Benz, or Bentley? My pants are never empty." -Lloyd Banks

So, after my poker session this Sunday, I know what my poker problems are. I really hate admitting my faults/weaknesses but I feel it is the best for me. Here they are...

1] Folding
-> This pretty much sums up my biggest leak. For some reason, I can't fold QQ or underpairs when there is a KING on the board. I mean, if dude is betting every street, what can I really beat? That's my problem...I put a hand I can beat in my mind and click on call. I berate people for being calling stations but I turn into a calling station as the pots get bigger as well as payouts. I really have to stop IMO.

2] Tilt
-> I still suck at this. If I get unlucky three times or more within a short span of time, I can blow past it. BUT, why can't I let it go if it happens all day? I say I can but I let it affect me pretty hard. Bill knows this. LOL. I know I have to keep playing and playing. I just need to remind myself that I just have to do the right move and deal with what happens. Even if something goes wrong 190980989098908x. I shouldn't tilt since I am fortunate in many other ways. Oh well.

3] Leveling myself
-> I can literally tell myself to raise 3x with a vulnerable hand but magically open for 2.2x. For example, I have 88 in the SB with 20 BBs and the big blind has 40 BBs. It is folded to me and I just open for 2.2x and BB calls. Flop will come out something like 472 and I check and BB checks behind. The 7 hits on the turn and I ship my stack to get snapped by 78. I always level myself by thinking everybody is smart. I need to just snap out of that. I don't think about future streets. I just play bad and get angry when I get destroyed by 78. I could easily win the pot by betting bigger and just leading out. It is definitely a big leak.

I am pretty sure there's other shit I can post but they all fall under the same umbrella of bad play. The solution is putting in volume and letting things go. I know it is the answer but it is super different to apply it at all times. I have to make it happen because I REALLY do not want to reload. Fuck that.

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/funny-animals-15.jpg

Words of wisdom

I feel what this genius of a man says. ONE HUNNED.

“When you have a business you need to know to budget, spend, and manage. I think those are the three hardest things to do in business. If you don't do those things, your business is gonna go under. I was just blessed to know how to do those things [as well as] hustle. Honestly, you gotta hustle and know how to flip money. And to flip money, you've got to always get new money. Niggas be trying to hold on to old money and they don't spend it, but you've gotta keep flipping that shit.” -Birdman of Ca$h Money

Insomnia

"Nights full of Alize..." -Tupac

I cannot sleep. Real talk. I keep waking up. It sucks a lot. What do I usually do when I can't sleep? It usually consists of watching random youtube vids, manga, reading, or thinking about poker scenarios in my head. In this case, I am thinking about poker. Today marks the start of something awesome. I finally had a decent profitable session of poker. This, by no means, will not be the LAST profitable session for the days to come. After having a talk with Bill about all the leaks/incorrect thought processes I have, I am convinced that I will see my bankroll steadily climb back up due to sheer volume. I have composed a list of things I want to accomplish before I stop playing poker [if this ever happens].

1] Win a MTT for $10k+
2] Satellite into a major LIVE tournament
3] Final table any live event [even a small MORONgo poker tournament]
4] Final table one of the myriad online poker tournaments [Sunday Million, Full Tilt $750k guarantee, etc]
5] Meet Doyle Brunson [the first real poker book I read was Super Systems]
----> I'm pretty sure I can list more things but this is all for now

It's funny how doing well after such a long drought of poker can feel. I feel like a lab rat that finally memorized the maze and got that tasteless pellet. Everybody likes to be a winner. Some do not have it in them to tolerate constant losses or things going sour time and time again. I now realize poker players in general MUST have an unlimited amount of optimism to be successful. It is not easy to convince yourself that you will be a winning player when your bankroll goes to shit. I would like to think I am optimistic.

Thoughts

"Be like water." -Bruce Lee

After some thoughtful consideration, I need to be like water. Fuck the bullshit. I get angry. I have downswings. I get unlucky. It does not matter. I should flow with how things go and adapt to situations and etch out as many chips as I can. I should not be constantly preoccupied with the present. I just need to...flow. Can I do it? I have no idea but I will try. Life is too short for me to worry about monkeys. I believe this to be true after the recent chain of events the new year has brought me.

Thanks again for sushi spaceship Bill. I will be able to spot dinner this month. I hope...

February

"I got a Benz that I ain't even drove yet." -DIDDY

This is how I feel with poker. I got a big score that I ain't even seen yet. Big dreams lead to big things. Progress with work leads to drastic results. That's how everything goes. I don't mind missing big scores because of suckouts and shit. I'm convinced that I will get this cake.

I lost another friend. R.I.P. Ngoc "Jade" Phan. I don't know the complications behind it but it sucks. I was thinking about Ngoc throughout the day. I got pretty close to her during college and I thought about all the phone times we shared. She had a big heart. She wanted to be there for all her friends and show you that she appreciated your presence. I remember joking about how many pills she would have to take on a daily basis. Her love for food was funny as fuck too. I clearly remember how she was 100% dedicated to Niko Niko then jumped to Canton Bistro asap to eat well and go clubbing at night. I remember running past the CSUSB bookstore and having her cheer me on during jogging class. So many memories...it feels weird to know she's gone. I wish her family the best: Lisa, Bea, Brittney, Kim. I know you're in a better place Ngoc.

Top Down

"Anybody seen a scale?" -Young Jeezy

Like Jeezy, I am all about my hustle. I looked at my sharkscope and realized I have played a shitton of SNGS and MTTs. One would think I would grow bored from playing these fuckers. NOPE! I finally cashed to pay for rent/bills. My bankroll definitely isn't where I would like it to be but I am content overall. After busting my ass at the micro/low SNGS, I am very comfortable with all my decisions and confident that I will crush them. I have gotten unlucky here and there but I do not mind. Luck is necessary in this game and I feel there is little to no reason to hold a grudge against a donk holding onto my monkeybread for the time being.

Today is January 22, 2010. It has been 25 months since I have been with Maria. It is bizarre to think about it but I am thankful that we are together. I love Maria Huynh and am happy that we are spending Friday to do whatever we please. I am indebted to her for everything. <3

I have officially been bluffed twice in one final table. In both occurrences, I KNEW I was being bluffed. I could feel it....feel it....down in my PLUMS. I was mentally shaken or mind fucked because I was playing at a $4.40 180man SNG. BLUFFING NEVER HAPPENS AT THESE FINAL TABLES....until now. The player successfully took off 80% of my stack and playfully rubbed in the bluff by showing his crappy ass holdings. Since I am not used to being bluffed [I do the bluffing and refrain from showing my cards], I decided to get into some friendly banter with him. It paid off. He was not a douche and was a thinking player. A thinking player at a $4.40? MADNESS! I had to BBM [blackberry messenger] Bill about this. It was enlightening because I will definitely pay more attention at all regular-speed SNGs from now on.

"Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day." I hate to say it but I really want the rain to go away. The sound of raindrops usually relaxes me to the point where I can lay in bed until noon and not give two shits about playing poker/working out. When the rain stays for longer than 4 days, we have a problem. I haven't gone outside or seen sunshine since Monday. It's weird. Hell, I actually had hail tonight! I can't wait until the sun comes out...I will finally take a walk around my neighborhood and see what El Monte has to offer.

P90x has been a pain in the ass. I am sticking with it until the end.

I'm ready

to win something big. Hell, I'm ready to win every final table I get to instead of getting 5th/6th off bs. My bankroll should be so sick right now. Gonna keep on keepin on...

=]

'EYES RED, YOU GOT THE MUNCH!' -Master P

You ain't ready for the soul crushing, monkey destroying, monkey bread stealing, and 100% bankroll boost that I will make happen during this week.

LET'S GO!

'STRAIGHT DAVE LOVES VAGEENA!' -Bruno

There are a few more days until January comes to a close. I need a good dose of run good imo. The past few sessions have been absolutely atrocious. The amount of luck needed to win a $12 or $7 180 man SNG is high but lately I have been getting really, really unlucky from getting that 1st. I know each and every poker player goes through downswings and periods where opponents just catch every card they need to break you. I am definitely optimistic but I felt like posting this to kick my bad luck to something other than the monkey bread dudes on pokerstars.

Ace King

"I didn't even have to use my AK. Today was a good day." -Ice Cube

I'm using this blog as a personal effort to try and think about folding AK while deep in a big [1k+] MTT. If I'm sitting in a 45 or 180 man SNG, AK is next to AA unless there's some heavy action before it's my turn. Here are three examples as to why I need to slow down and consider my options instead of snap-shoving/calling with AK.

$2.20 NLHE MTT

Blinds: 1k/2k

9 Handed play

180ish people left

Me: 63k stack [UTG+1]

Villian: 90k stack [MP]

I remember this hand well. I was watching Die Hard on Spike while playing this tourny. I usually play 3-4 tables when I get deep in a tourny where I feel I have a decent shot at getting really, really, deep. Play has been relatively wild so I was just sitting in the grass waiting for my hand to double up from one of the donks. I open for 5,499....

Villian snap shoves his stack of 90k. Folded to the SB [super spewy player] that shoves his remaining 12k into the pot. What did I do? Did I consider the range of hands Villian could have? What is his image? Has he opened any pots in the past orbits? Were there any timing tells [I know, I know, this is a fuckin $2.20 MTT. I figure it still applies even in these micro MTTs]? NOPE, I DIDN'T CONSIDER SHIT. I snapped.

To no surprise, The SB has the hot ass J8o. Villian has the awesome KK. Beautiful, I only have 3 outs. I wasn't quite optimistic to be honest.

Board - JQ993. GG Merry Xmas to a major cash of 10 bucks. 1st was $1500 btw.

$2.20 6-max MTT

90 players left

Blinds: 1250k/2500k

Me: 80k stack [UTG]

Villian: 82k stack [BUTTON]

This is one of those crackhead sessions I had. I think it was Monday and it was around 2:30am. Yeah, pretty damn late. I play for first and I stayed awake trying to scoop that $800-$900 first prize. I don't really remember. Anyway, this is how the action went down. I do my standard open to 6299k. Fold, fold, Villian SNAPS. When I say snap, i mean SNAP! Dude basically telegraphed PAIR PAIR PAIR PAIR PAIR with that type of action. Did I think about anything? To be honest, I didn't give a shit. I was tired. It was win-win for me. I win the flip and get a fighting chance to the final table. If I lose, I can go to sleep. I call. He flips over JJ.

Board: Q3329 GGPO Another ass cash. I don't even remember what it was.

Last example.

$2.20 6-max MTT

Me: 84k [Button]

Villian: 70kish [BB]

Blinds: 1k/2k

100ish players left

This situation is pretty interesting. First off, Villian was a very, very active player. He was basically doing exactly what I was doing. The only problem he had is that his plays were -EV imo. If you call raise after raise in the SB/BB and have no plans unless you flop a pair/monster draw, you will not win in 6-max. You have to be aggressive and have the balls to bet out on uncoordinated flops to win chips. That's how I feel. Pretty standard play overall. I open to 5139k and get the monster 70kish shove. I snap. JJ! Are you fuckin serious? Bleh! Board bricks and I am out.

Here are my thoughts in hindsight of my calls. First off, I know that I need to learn a lot more before I begin to destroy all tournys. I believe in myself and I figure everybody has to start from somewhere before greatness ensues. These micro tournys with big returns are the best IMO. As long as I admit to my mistakes and continue learning, I'll be that dude soon enough.

In the AK vs KK hand, I was 100% gambling. As I stated earlier, I didn't think of the range of hands he would be snap shoving with. I mean, honestly, that was a pretty big shove. He wasn't playing any hands and snap shoved after I opened. That's pretty strong. I could have easily folded and picked another spot to accumulate chips. The fields in these micro tournys are super soft so I ALWAYS have a chance in my mind. This was definitely a spot where I should have mucked. The SB shoving is no surprise but it's another 2 cards I have to fight against to win the pot. AK is a drawing hand. I agree with this statement. In hindsight, Villian is shoving with JJ+, AQ[maybe], AK suited, and that's about it. I am flipping more often than not but I am usually dominated.

The 6-max AK vs JJ hands are unique situations for me. I am still learning how to play 6-max when there are <100>BUT, this is still a tournament. Tournaments are also about survival. In tournaments, I need to actually use my time bank and consider folding. I NEVER think about folding when I have AK. The effective stack sizes are damn near close in each situation. I dunno...I personally think I will get better if I fold during these situations and pick another spot to double.

I have to remind myself that I can always come back and win tournaments with short ass stacks. That's all I have to say. I am confident that I will take a 6-max tournament down soon.

Update

"Play the best you can and the mannies will come." -Bill the Great

January 2k10 is a month where I cannot lose. If you guys don't know by now, I haven't been officially "employed" since September 2k9. It was a personal decision and I felt that I don't have what it takes to deal with the bs dished out from major corporations. I chose to go on an online poker mission and see if I could make enough cake to not worry about rent/bills/school loan/etc. So far, the monetary returns have been pretty sweet. I have had an up and down rollercoaster ride with my bankroll but I've learned enough to not lose it all. I took the biggest hit to my bankroll around early November to the end of December 2k9. I decided to play seriously throughout the month of January 2k10 to see if I can recoup my losses and get back to playing gdlk and making consistent money.

Bill helped me out mentally with this downswing. He lent me books, articles, friendly advice, and support when I thought I would continue losing. To be honest, the only reason I'm playing online is because he's pretty successful at it. Monkey see, monkey do I guess. The biggest thing he helped me realize is how negative my personality was becoming. It was directly linked at me losing money online. He made me get back to being positive and not letting petty stuff get to me. Mike Matusow preaches the "power of positive thinking" and I believe it. Nobody great/successful remained the best without thinking they were great or put in work to become great.

I mainly enter SNGs of $2.20, $3.25, $6.50, an occasional $12, every other $7 for my bankroll. They are my bread and butter. After my bankroll took a dip, I jumped down in stakes to fix all my leaks and basically put in volume to see every situation until i was 100% sure or comfortable enough to make a play and not care of the outcome. As long as I did the correct play, I shouldn't be phased if somebody gets lucky on me. I also opened up to the big MTTs with a relatively low buy-in. I focus on $2-$5. When my bankroll jumps higher, I'll go back to playing the $6-$12 MTTs. In future blogs, I'll post up hands which I think are interesting.

I've started doing the P90x workout. This shit is intense. I still need to buy some equipment to optimize each workout but the things I can do now definitely burn to the core. The ab burner, yoga, and upper body/back workouts are crazy. I don't remember getting this sore when I used to wrestle. I plan to stay consistent with this stuff. I'll update with this as well.

A good friend recently passed. His gamer name was Dasrik. His real name was Rick Lafaurie. Me, Jesse, and Bill went to his funeral on January 2, 2010. Dasrik and his brother Jose exposed me to the gaming scene when I was super competitive back in 2002/2003. They hosted sessions in their garage for us to get better and basically hang out. I don't want to keep talking about the past but he will be missed. You never realize how precious life is until a friend/family member passes. Dasrik was the best asshole I knew and that's how I will remember him. After the funeral, I told myself that I'll be more positive about everything and no longer hold grudges against people.

2010

The new year is here and many things have already happened. I will post more in a few days. This will be the first of many blogs to come.