Problems

"Beamer, Benz, or Bentley? My pants are never empty." -Lloyd Banks

So, after my poker session this Sunday, I know what my poker problems are. I really hate admitting my faults/weaknesses but I feel it is the best for me. Here they are...

1] Folding
-> This pretty much sums up my biggest leak. For some reason, I can't fold QQ or underpairs when there is a KING on the board. I mean, if dude is betting every street, what can I really beat? That's my problem...I put a hand I can beat in my mind and click on call. I berate people for being calling stations but I turn into a calling station as the pots get bigger as well as payouts. I really have to stop IMO.

2] Tilt
-> I still suck at this. If I get unlucky three times or more within a short span of time, I can blow past it. BUT, why can't I let it go if it happens all day? I say I can but I let it affect me pretty hard. Bill knows this. LOL. I know I have to keep playing and playing. I just need to remind myself that I just have to do the right move and deal with what happens. Even if something goes wrong 190980989098908x. I shouldn't tilt since I am fortunate in many other ways. Oh well.

3] Leveling myself
-> I can literally tell myself to raise 3x with a vulnerable hand but magically open for 2.2x. For example, I have 88 in the SB with 20 BBs and the big blind has 40 BBs. It is folded to me and I just open for 2.2x and BB calls. Flop will come out something like 472 and I check and BB checks behind. The 7 hits on the turn and I ship my stack to get snapped by 78. I always level myself by thinking everybody is smart. I need to just snap out of that. I don't think about future streets. I just play bad and get angry when I get destroyed by 78. I could easily win the pot by betting bigger and just leading out. It is definitely a big leak.

I am pretty sure there's other shit I can post but they all fall under the same umbrella of bad play. The solution is putting in volume and letting things go. I know it is the answer but it is super different to apply it at all times. I have to make it happen because I REALLY do not want to reload. Fuck that.

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/funny-animals-15.jpg

Words of wisdom

I feel what this genius of a man says. ONE HUNNED.

“When you have a business you need to know to budget, spend, and manage. I think those are the three hardest things to do in business. If you don't do those things, your business is gonna go under. I was just blessed to know how to do those things [as well as] hustle. Honestly, you gotta hustle and know how to flip money. And to flip money, you've got to always get new money. Niggas be trying to hold on to old money and they don't spend it, but you've gotta keep flipping that shit.” -Birdman of Ca$h Money

Insomnia

"Nights full of Alize..." -Tupac

I cannot sleep. Real talk. I keep waking up. It sucks a lot. What do I usually do when I can't sleep? It usually consists of watching random youtube vids, manga, reading, or thinking about poker scenarios in my head. In this case, I am thinking about poker. Today marks the start of something awesome. I finally had a decent profitable session of poker. This, by no means, will not be the LAST profitable session for the days to come. After having a talk with Bill about all the leaks/incorrect thought processes I have, I am convinced that I will see my bankroll steadily climb back up due to sheer volume. I have composed a list of things I want to accomplish before I stop playing poker [if this ever happens].

1] Win a MTT for $10k+
2] Satellite into a major LIVE tournament
3] Final table any live event [even a small MORONgo poker tournament]
4] Final table one of the myriad online poker tournaments [Sunday Million, Full Tilt $750k guarantee, etc]
5] Meet Doyle Brunson [the first real poker book I read was Super Systems]
----> I'm pretty sure I can list more things but this is all for now

It's funny how doing well after such a long drought of poker can feel. I feel like a lab rat that finally memorized the maze and got that tasteless pellet. Everybody likes to be a winner. Some do not have it in them to tolerate constant losses or things going sour time and time again. I now realize poker players in general MUST have an unlimited amount of optimism to be successful. It is not easy to convince yourself that you will be a winning player when your bankroll goes to shit. I would like to think I am optimistic.

Thoughts

"Be like water." -Bruce Lee

After some thoughtful consideration, I need to be like water. Fuck the bullshit. I get angry. I have downswings. I get unlucky. It does not matter. I should flow with how things go and adapt to situations and etch out as many chips as I can. I should not be constantly preoccupied with the present. I just need to...flow. Can I do it? I have no idea but I will try. Life is too short for me to worry about monkeys. I believe this to be true after the recent chain of events the new year has brought me.

Thanks again for sushi spaceship Bill. I will be able to spot dinner this month. I hope...