Bye Bye

"Bye Bye" -N'Sync

To the 3 people that read this, I have moved over to tumblr. Everything is easier there and yeah, I moved. www.pigadoken.tumblr.com Expect the same amount of mashy shit. =]

Reading Rainbowwwwww

After drinking numerous shots of Ballantine scotch, me and my roomie Franklin shared some memories during my brother's wedding. After the wedding was said and done and everybody got their drunk asses home or went to the kyoto hotel room, we decided to take a trip to the golden shit ass arches known as McDonalds to get some 2am grub. Needless to say, the food was garbage but it filled us up since nothing else was open at the time. Here is where the story begins...

Since I was the only one that was particularly sober at the time, I drive up to the drive thru and proceed to place my order. Before I even begin to order, some black bum comes up to me and asks for $.50. First off, I respect the hustle but there is NO FUCKING REASON why I should give you shit especially since it's 2 FUCKIN AM IN THE MORNING! WHO THE FUCK IS AWAKE AT THIS TIME AND NEEDS $.50? That is the million dollar question imo. Anyway, I just tell him I don't have shit to spare even though I had hella cash in my pocket to pay for the food. We order our grimy shit and go to the window to pay/get out food. This nigga doesn't stop...

I get all my food and pay the McDonalds lady. This same bum ass nigga comes up to us again and asks..."Hey man, I really need some change. Can you spare $.75 to me please?" I look at dude hard. I mean, it's so fuckin hard you could see fucking steel flying out of my eyes. I tell dude "Hey man, you fucking asked me for $.50 a few seconds ago. Why the fuck do you think I am gonna give you $.75 now? You are an idiot. I have change in my pocket and I ain't gonna give you shit!" I roll up my window and leave. I look in the rearview mirror and dude goes to the next car with his awesome "hustle".

The moral of the story is that bums in L.A. don't deserve shit especially at 2am. I mean...if you made up a decent lie like "I need some change to make the bus tomorrow to see my kidz..." I would have forked up the change. But if a bum ass nigga comes up and wants change to cook up some coke, NOPE!

PS: Ever since my smofty bought me HoldEmManager, my ROI has been better and I can finally fold when I know I should fold. It's like an angel that warns me of impending danger!

"Hanging in the club like this all night. Put your ass, you know I hold it tight!" -ODB

OOF

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGIE!" - Jamiroquailjalksjdfkajskdljfasdf

Maria bought me Hold 'Em Manager for my bday. <3 Maria. I didn't really read anything on it. I just installed and did an auto-import of my hands from the pokerstars hand history. My HUD hasn't shown up so I read through some forums and I guess I need to download the new update. Poker has been fairly decent. I have a number in my head to clear so I can withdraw some $$$$$. I am probably going to need to head to rivershit to run some shit with Billiam. Birthday celebration was awesome and I can't wait for another crazy event...probably when my brother/sister get back from Grenada. Until then...

"Sip, Sip, Sip, Sippin on some sip, sippin on some sizzzzurp!" - 3 6 Mafia

I've been doing insanity pretty consistent but haven't been seeing dramatic results. It must be from drinking a lot lately and being tired while doing the workouts. I am still going to stick to it!

FINALLY!

Feeling solid as hell. Things have been going well lately with everything. I have been consistent with Insanity but I have not been eating 100% healthy. I can't really complain since this is the longest I have been consistent with anything.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Diamonds and Cadillacs!" -Jackie Chain

Man, I am craving this shit sooooooo fucking hard right now. It ain't even funny. It take discipline to fight this off when I am drunk as a motherfucker. Anyway, I must say that the past couple days of poker have been on cloud 9. It feels like I am Neo and all these monkeys can't push me around at all. I KNOW when they are shoving with trash and calls asap with A2 and see, to no surprise, J4 shove on the button. I am enjoying poker very much because I AM IN THE ZONE! That Phoenix Suns game was mad entertaining.

Monkeys will be monkeys

"How you like me now? Gold teef when I smile!" -Master P

Lately, on pokerstars, I have random leechers/cheerleaders following me all the way to the final table of the 180 SNGs. They will cheer me on then talk shit when somebody wins a flip on me. For example, blinds are 2/4k and I have 32k. Villian has been minraising every pot. Villian MR utg and it's folded to me in the small blind. I shove with A9 [the equity I have is pretty slim at this point because he has a 120k stack] but i am confident that I have the best hand preflop. Villian calls and tables QJ. Flop dinks a Jack and I get 4th. The same railbird that was cheering me on laughs and says I'm a fish for putting it in with the best hand. I am very, very happy that I no longer look at the chat unless I put a super horrendous beat on somebody. I just remind myself that the people that actually rail have absolutely no money [or have gone busto numerous times] and try to get anybody in the world to ship them some money. I feel sad for those idiots. I finally have a knack for doing the right plays and not giving a shit what the outcome is. Whenever I find myself getting flustered from the iditos that pull miracles out of their ass, I just take a deep breath and remind myself that these donks are -EV in everything they enter.

Magic

"Verse Number 2, do the damn thang!" -Yung Joc

Pokerstars has finalllllllly graced me with some love. I've been winning the flips when I need to as well as having A3 hold against monkey J5 and other random combination of hands. All the hard work and long ass hours have finally led to grinding back my bankroll. I won't be satisfied until i can withdraw a certain amount and pay Bill back a certain amount. =]

I just did 7 days of the Insanity workout. I can't wait for day 30 where I get to compare how the fuck I looked on day 1! Weeeeeee.

"Boards don't hit back." -Bruce Lee

CHOMP CHOMP

"MAKE EM SAY UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" -Master P

I like looking at this crazy sugar mania to torture myself.

Inspiration

"If it weren't for luck, I'd win every poker tournament." -Phil Hellmuth

Recently, I have been pretty angry. Angry to the point where I catch myself and have to slow things down until I see things in a better perspective. After watching the two movies on www.robustothemovie.com, I realize that I am not alone. The only other person I regularly talk to that plays online poker is Bill. Just being able to hear the testimonials from other players was a big relief. It's always easy to say that you need to disassociate yourself from the swings as well as beat after beat you take. When it keeps happening and there seems to be no end to it, that's where the resilient shine. It feels as if the past few days has taken away my resilient self. Instead of being optimistic, I feel an enormous amount of pressure to win everything I touch. I won't lie, I have done some strange lines of play where I know it was completely wrong. It's an awful feeling but I feel I can get away from it. I know what to do and try to apply it but I have been cracking more often than not. I realize what my leaks are and how to fix them...this is basically the test, albeit the 'final' test, I have to pass.

Online poker is a really lonely profession. You basically click a mouse and hope to reap profits daily, weekly, monthly, and/or yearly. For me, I try not to talk to any of the people I play in the SNGs. It reduces the amount of tilt that builds up as well as avoids me getting the temptation to degrade a player. The only thing I miss from a regular job is the daily interaction of people. I don't think I'm going to go crazy or turn into a hermit but I realize this profession is 100% seclusion from the outside world. That's why I am happy to have a really good support group that includes my wonderful gf Maria, my family, and my friends. Even if the people that are close to me don't agree with what I'm doing, I respect the fact that they don't give me shit every waking moment because I'm taking a huge risk overall. To this day, I hate losing. I ffffffffuckin hate it. I don't want to lose...it comes from me being super, super stubborn. I feel writing this blog will bring out all the hatred, anger, pessimism, and downright negative energy I have been spewing lately. I still feel that I live a very awesome life even though I see myself in greatness at all times.

I end this blog with one of the few positive things my father has said to me throughout my childhood. "Put your heart and your mind into everything you do. You will be successful if you can do this." Well, I definitely feel those words apply to my lifestyle now. I just hope I don't become what I loathe the most: a loser!

"Sippin saki on a Suzuki, we in Osaka Bay!" - Cam'ron

Frustration

This is how I feel

Hahahahahaha

Insecurity can be a pain I guess...

Got caught...

trying to get all the gold!

Weeeeee

Poker is fun. It's one of the few games where it can piss me off so much but bring so much joy after a win. I will prevail. This monkey is awesome.

LOLOLOLOL

Can someone please get me the contact info for Jim Jones stylist?

NUT NUT BABY

I feel like a zoo keeper after my PS session

Insomnia Again COT DAMN!

Stolen from Bill stolen from Chang Chang Bang Bang Im

30 day song challenge
Day 01 - Your favorite song - Beachball/Party All The Time. These two songs bring back a lot of good memories. They both revolve around the time where I loved marvel/cvs2 to the point where I would travel to play against ze best players. My sister can relate how much I love Party All The Time from the amount of showers I've taken while listening to it on BLAST.

Day 02 - Your least favorite song - Let's see. This is definitely something I have to think about...It would probably be Chamillionaire - Ridin' Dirty. The song was just stupid annoying. Like all annoying songs, you hear it so much that you can actually tolerate it.

Day 03 - A song that makes you happy - Cam'Ron - Down and Out. This song has too many funny lines that I have to sing along hard bady. It's one of my favorite songs by Cam that started my Dipset love.

Day 04 - A song that makes you sad - I have no idea. I remember all those slow songs that played during the death of someone important from a Disney movie. What was that lion's name...Simba's dad? Those types of songs make me sad.

Day 05 - A song that reminds you of someone - Ginuwine - Differences. This song has multiple layers to it. It mainly reminds me of Maria from high school. Hahahaha. Back then, I was a super donk and decided not to dance to this song with her. Typical.

Day 06 - A song that reminds of you of somewhere - Utada...I can't remember her last name. Easy Breezy. That song reminds me of Japan.

Day 07 - A song that reminds you of a certain event - The stage song for Elena in SF3:3S. That song would remind me of the first time I got a voicemail about how annoying it is to listen to for ~30 seconds.

Day 08 - A song that you know all the words to - I can confidently say I know lyrics for most of my favorite songs...like 90% sure of the lyrics. But, for ALL the words, I would have to say this particular Winnie The Pooh sing-along-song from WAYYY BACK. It was about how he stretches and eats honey all day.

Day 09 - A song that you can dance to - Remixed 80s shit. This answer is mad general but that's all I can think of. Whatever music Club Jet blasts when I'm in Vegas.

Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep - Classical music. Beethoven's Fur Elise can take my mind somewhere else...which makes me sleepy.

Day 11 - A song from your favorite band - AFI - Miss Murder. When I first heard this song, I was watching an interview with Davey Havok all glittered up and giddy about the new album. Random memory. There's something about the song that I like. I really don't know what it is but I can listen to this song on loop tbh.

Day 12 - A song from a band you hate - I used to hate songs by P.O.D. because I thought they were frontin hard on their image [this was WAYYYYY before you could just pop in something on wiki.org]. They're hard....for a CHRISTIAN BAND. All for the J-MAN.

Day 13 - A song that is a guilty pleasure - Aqua - Barbie Girl. LOLOLOLOLOL. This song is 100% mash fiesta. I can honestly say I would sing this song while clubbin it up with Euro donks.

Day 14 - A song that no one would expect you to love - 80s song...Always Something There to Remind Me.

Day 15 - A song that describes you - it would be a mash up of three songs. Lil Wayne - Money on My Mind, T.I. - What You Know About That, Michelle Branch - Everywhere. These songs are fire.

Day 16 - A song that you used to love but now hate - hahahahahahah. E Z. It's that one raver song...I CAN'T STOP RAVING. I only liked this song because all my AzN friends would blast it in high school. I didn't know about X or all that raving shit. I can't stand it now.

Day 17 - A song that you hear often on the radio - Akon - "something something something DISRESPECTFULLLLLLLLLLL. SHE AIN'T YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD HOOOOOOOOO!"

Day 18 - A song that you wish you heard on the radio - This old song by NOTORIOUS B.I.G. + Lil Kim - Another. This was one of the first few songs where I paid attention to the lyrics. Song is awesome. "What would you do if your bitch was untrue? Would you cut the hooker off or find someone new? I need another bitchhhhhhh!" Classic degrading music ftw.

Day 19 - A song from your favorite album - Clipse - Grindin. The beat was fire when it came out. Lyrics were pretty crisp. It's just a classic from Clipse.

Day 20 - A song that you listen to when you’re angry - I have no idea. I haven't been piss angry for a while. I get angry at poker but I'm usually listening to happy music so...no idea.

Day 21 - A song that you listen to when you’re happy - Juelz Santana - There It Go [The Whistle Song] Just hearing "SANTANA, AY! IT'S DIPSET BITCH!" makes me happy.

Day 22 - A song that you listen to when you’re sad - I haven't been sad in a while either. I have no idea...

Day 23 - A song that you want to play at your wedding - Ginuwine - Differences. It will basically be the official dance for Maria and I. Maybe she'll stop making fun of me for not dancing with her the first time...who knows? I would also need a good MJ song...Don't Stop Till You Get Enough/Rock With You

Day 24 - A song that you want to play at your funeral - Snoop Dogg - Ain't Nothin' But A G Thang. That would kill the sadness asap imo. Clipse - Grindin' instrumental. It's a weird thought imo. I would probably just request happy music since that's the type of music I like. No particular song stands out more than another atm. Tupac - Picture Me Rollin stands out...

Day 25 - A song that makes you laugh - Young Money - Bedrock. The amount of terrible punchlines and Lloyd on the hook just make me laugh. Call me Mr. Flinstone, grocery bag, abestos....lyrics are RIDIC. Oh shit, this is mad throwback. Tom Green - Bum Bum Song. That song would kill me so hard. MY BUM IS ON THE CHEESE! hahahahaha fuck. Birdman - #1 Stunna. I love it when he says "I'M GONNA BUY ME A PLATINUM FOOTBALL FIELD". If there's a will, there's a way Birdman.

Day 26 - A song that you can play on an instrument - Beethoven - Fur Elise. I can mash it out on a piano...at least a little bit of it. I think I can do some songs on a flute...no homo.

Day 27 - A song that you wish you could play - I'd rather learn how to make beats. Incubus - Anna Molly. I would like to learn how to play that song.

Day 28 - A song that makes you feel guilty - Akon - Locked Up. It makes me feel guilty because it's such a terrible song to love. "COPS WERE DRESSED AS FIENDSSSSSSS" "MAKIN SO MUCH MONEY" "FUCK AROUND AND GET LOCKED UPPPPPPP"

Day 29 - A song from your childhood - Venga Bus. Tom's Diner. All the opening songs for TV shows. Boyz II Men. Bone Thugs N Harmony. I don't have a song that strikes out during childhood. I played a lot of megaman, sf, random games. I remember more of the songs before school started like TMNT or Ronin Warriors.

Day 30 - Your favorite song at this time last year - T.I. Swagga Like Us. I think this song came out a year ago. If not, Young Dro - Shoulder Lean.

These songs are pretty awesome too
Eazy E - Real MUTHAFUCKIN Gs
Master P - Make Em Say UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
Mystikal - Shake Ya Ass

Sick Swing Brahhhhhh!

The past two days have been mega LOL on PS. I blame it on variance and monkeys. Here's to hoping my shit holds instead of death by Ace rag x 10000000. =]